Feedback: Can You Handle It?

This week at IMPROV Inc. we’re discussing FEEDBACK - feedback for us, feedback from us, feedback in general. How does feedback make you feel? For some it’s triggering, for some it’s useful, some people get defensive… the reactions are unique, always, to the person AND the situation.

Importantly, feedback is taken as well as given; take it if it’s useful for you and discard what’s not. Crucially, it’s data. Data to be mined for significance and the chance of improvement. But hey - do reply and let us know what you think!

Something received…

At the end of any session that we run at IMPROV Inc., we ask for feedback. It’s important to iterate, to hear what worked, what didn’t, what we could do differently next time.

We're in a relational business, where we have to impart skills and offer fresh techniques to the group. But that means that we need to be able to create an environment where everyone is comfortable to open up, contribute and share. To create a brave and open space. As one of our participants put it recently: “Thank you: more than in any other room I’ve been in, you have created an environment where trust is built”. A powerful compliment indeed!

This element of building trust - arguably the most important element in any group - might not be overtly apparent. It’s always there, though. Hearing it at the end of a session is a beautiful affirmation of the scaffolding we build for all.

“Make feedback normal - not a performance review”  Ed Batista, executive coach

Something mentored…

“Now this is what I heard…” this little phrase is dynamite when giving feedback that I (Paul) will use when mentoring business owners on their pitch at the Public Speakers University (I’m a coach there). It’s a gentle way in: a polite knock-knock before barging into someone’s brain. It shifts feedback from “Here’s what’s WRONG!” to “Here’s what I noticed”. It’s way less ‘punch in the face’-y.

The real trick is that, after sharing the observation, explain why it matters - then always offer what to do instead. Simply pointing out the wobbly bits is lazy feedback. It’s not always helpful and it can be detrimental. The magic’s in the: ‘Here’s how to fix it’.

The funny part? Most of my suggestions come from spinning their own words differently or offering a relevant metaphor. I might have only a superficial knowledge about their business, yet, with deep listening and improvisation skills, I’m able to rattle off a bunch of fresh ideas. The look on their faces says it all.

“How do you know more about my pitch than I do?” Spoiler: I don’t. I simply listen, reframe, then make their offers sound shiny. Skilled mentoring with improvisational technique at the forefront.

Something activated…

I, (Vic), learned such a good semantic distinction recently. By this I mean: how certain words give whoever hears them a differing feeling.

The original word I’d used was ‘triggered’. I was describing the way a participant felt during a years-old facilitation. Their reaction to feedback from another attendee was so strongly negative and defensive, that, as I chatted with a peer of mine, ‘triggered’ felt like the correct word.

My friend then floored me with this reply: “I tend not to use the word triggered, since it has negative connotations and can be rooted in trauma. I use the word ‘activated’.”

I love this. ‘Activated’ immediately made more sense - whether they had a good or bad reaction, the receiver of the feedback was immediately responding emotionally strongly to the words they’d received.

And this is what we care about: creating a safe space in which to take risks; a low-stakes, high-reward container. We like to remind folks that it’s all just data and, that when we get comfortable with failure, we can conquer anything!

Here’s to reduced negativity and to feeling activated, not triggered.

#AppliedImprovisation #YesAnd #BusinessSkills #PersonalGrowth #agilityinbusiness #activation #feelingtriggered #SmallBusiness #solopreneurs #positiveenergy #playfulsolutions #niching #IdealClient